Mother of Three
Call me crazy, but part of the beauty of having three kids is the variety that it affords in parenting. Each one of my kids is so different from the rest that my interaction with them varies wildly too. It really is fun, and it keeps the days a little fresher (not to mention that they tend to act as diffusers for one another when I'm butting heads especially with one of them). Part of the challenge of parenting, though, is that they are so different.
I never noticed it much with Henry. Being a firstborn too, we share a lot of common traits. Beyond that, he has a lot of my personality. He has his father's logical mind, but many of my tendencies and habits. He looks so much like Micah, but I do see glimpses of myself in his little face from time to time. It's never been hard to recognize that he's my son.
Which sounds like a horrible thing to say, but let me explain. After so much in common with Henry, I was a little unprepared for Thomas' differences. I knew they'd be different from each other, but different from me? His personality is so easy-going, so light-hearted and carefree. I love that about him. He's outgoing and talkative and charming. He's musical and has a sense of rhythm. He's fearless and dangerous. He's everything I am not and then some. He doesn't even look much like me! Who is this child?
Early on, of course, it was easy to feel that bond. After all, he was a newborn and I was the parent at home with him. But as he grew and began to form his own opinions, it became very clear (actually, he made it abundantly clear) that Micah was his favorite parent. His first word was "Da-da" and it was absolutely indicative of the bond the two of them would share. I loved watching it. His daddy has been his hero, and there is nothing more beautiful. And yet...
It's been challenging to feel connected with him. I love watching him and I soak up every second I have to spend with him, but I feel like for most of the past two years he's kept me at arm's length. Daddy is the one he wants when he wakes up, and when he discovers that he's not there, he cries for him for literally over an hour. Daddy is the one he wants to snuggle with at night. In fact, he's told me many times that, "Daddy is my grown-up. I like daddies best." I love his father and I never want to squelch that bond, but it's hard not to feel that little stab at my heart each time he pushes me away.
But lately he's begun to change. He's asked for me when I'm not there. When he wakes up from a nap, he crawls up into my lap and wants to snuggle. He's begun to sidle up to me in public and press his little body against my leg, like he can't get close enough. He wants to hold my hand on walks and has even chosen me over Micah once or twice. They're little things. Probably not even noticeable to others, but I can't tell you the feeling of triumph! I'm not sure what brought about the change, but I am loving every minute of this new relationship with my son. I probably sound like a terrible parent for saying it, but I finally feel like he's my child too. Surely I can't be the only parent in history to feel that way?
What prompted all of these thoughts is that tomorrow Thomas graduates to a bigger class for Sunday school. He's almost three (which I still find hard to believe!) and the time has come to move up. I volunteer in the nursery once a month and normally fill in in Henry's class. This week I was re-assigned to Thomas' new room. I've taught both of the other kids, but I've never been Thomas' teacher. Call me crazy. I know it's a little thing, a silly thing. But I've been daydreaming all day about tomorrow morning. Waking up early and getting him ready for church. Walking there hand-in-hand. Teaching him and watching him interact with his little friends. I've never had these particular moments with Thomas and I'm seeing all of our moments with fresh eyes these days. I can't wait to spend the morning tomorrow with my middle son!
I never noticed it much with Henry. Being a firstborn too, we share a lot of common traits. Beyond that, he has a lot of my personality. He has his father's logical mind, but many of my tendencies and habits. He looks so much like Micah, but I do see glimpses of myself in his little face from time to time. It's never been hard to recognize that he's my son.
Which sounds like a horrible thing to say, but let me explain. After so much in common with Henry, I was a little unprepared for Thomas' differences. I knew they'd be different from each other, but different from me? His personality is so easy-going, so light-hearted and carefree. I love that about him. He's outgoing and talkative and charming. He's musical and has a sense of rhythm. He's fearless and dangerous. He's everything I am not and then some. He doesn't even look much like me! Who is this child?
Early on, of course, it was easy to feel that bond. After all, he was a newborn and I was the parent at home with him. But as he grew and began to form his own opinions, it became very clear (actually, he made it abundantly clear) that Micah was his favorite parent. His first word was "Da-da" and it was absolutely indicative of the bond the two of them would share. I loved watching it. His daddy has been his hero, and there is nothing more beautiful. And yet...
It's been challenging to feel connected with him. I love watching him and I soak up every second I have to spend with him, but I feel like for most of the past two years he's kept me at arm's length. Daddy is the one he wants when he wakes up, and when he discovers that he's not there, he cries for him for literally over an hour. Daddy is the one he wants to snuggle with at night. In fact, he's told me many times that, "Daddy is my grown-up. I like daddies best." I love his father and I never want to squelch that bond, but it's hard not to feel that little stab at my heart each time he pushes me away.
But lately he's begun to change. He's asked for me when I'm not there. When he wakes up from a nap, he crawls up into my lap and wants to snuggle. He's begun to sidle up to me in public and press his little body against my leg, like he can't get close enough. He wants to hold my hand on walks and has even chosen me over Micah once or twice. They're little things. Probably not even noticeable to others, but I can't tell you the feeling of triumph! I'm not sure what brought about the change, but I am loving every minute of this new relationship with my son. I probably sound like a terrible parent for saying it, but I finally feel like he's my child too. Surely I can't be the only parent in history to feel that way?
What prompted all of these thoughts is that tomorrow Thomas graduates to a bigger class for Sunday school. He's almost three (which I still find hard to believe!) and the time has come to move up. I volunteer in the nursery once a month and normally fill in in Henry's class. This week I was re-assigned to Thomas' new room. I've taught both of the other kids, but I've never been Thomas' teacher. Call me crazy. I know it's a little thing, a silly thing. But I've been daydreaming all day about tomorrow morning. Waking up early and getting him ready for church. Walking there hand-in-hand. Teaching him and watching him interact with his little friends. I've never had these particular moments with Thomas and I'm seeing all of our moments with fresh eyes these days. I can't wait to spend the morning tomorrow with my middle son!
