Me and Mr. Mom
Yesterday I mentioned briefly that I had been offered a position at my old NICU. I didn't have time just then to elaborate, but the house is quiet, the toys are picked up, and the stack of dishes on the counter aren't getting any dirtier. Why not now?
When we decided to move back to Indiana, we talked long and hard about work. Always before, it's taken Micah at least a year and a half to work out a position. We could hold out for something like that, but as things progressed it became clear that we should set our timeline for a move to sometime this summer. It was more than likely that I would find a job before he would. And the next round of discussions began.
Could I go back to work full-time? Would I be OK with letting go of some of the undivided time I'd had to give the kids? I hate to admit this, but would I be able to trust Micah with keeping up with the house, cooking meals, etc? I knew he'd be great with the kids, but it's hard to relinquish control of the areas I'd held the reins for for several years! Would Micah's career suffer if he stayed home for a few years? Would he enjoy it, or would he struggle not having work outside of the home? What would our days look like, what kind of shift would be best for me, how would we make all this work? On and on we talked and wrestled, all the while both interviewing for positions.
Nothing seemed quite right. I hated to miss time with Cora during the day, but I knew there would be time with her around a sleep schedule. The times when I connect most with all three kids are those afternoon hours after school, hearing about their day in bits and pieces, and at night as they drift off to sleep talking about their day and sharing their thoughts. It killed me to think I would miss those times several days a week! It became clearer and clearer that a night shift position would allow me the most time with the kids and the least-intrusive work schedule. But all of the openings I could find were for twelve hour shifts that started at seven o'clock. No matter how I turned things over in my mind, playing out how any number of different shifts or schedules would work, I had to give up something very precious to make it work. I wrestled and wrestled with it until I finally reached a point where I was willing to let go. The kids would not be without a parent, after all. If I was working, Micah would be home. It was time for me to let go and let him step in. I was not in sole control of our family, I had been blessed to have had all these years, and it would be OK. I could work these shifts and still have time with them.
And then, out of the blue, a former co-worker sent me a message. A position had just opened up on night shift in my old unit. It was an eight-hour shift position, and she wasn't sure if I'd be interested. Micah and I looked at each other. This could be it! I had been watching for a position to open up with them, but so far nothing had. And now there was a shift that would allow me to be home all evening, without missing the after-school or bedtime hours, and only have an eight-hour shift to sleep off the next day. I had loved the work I'd done before, loved my co-workers. I have had recurring dreams for five years about going back there, and here was the chance! I applied immediately. I got a phone call less than twenty-four hours later, and now here we are.
I couldn't be more excited to be going back to a field I've been so passionate about. What a blessing! And Micah is thrilled at the idea of staying home. Is it a gamble? Yes, maybe. It's possible this move will hurt his career. But years ago, when I was still in nursing school, we made the decision that one of us would be home with our kids. It was top priority. We knew then that it may not always be me. And it turns out it won't be. He is a fantastic dad. What's more, he brings fresh energy and intentionality to the job of staying home! After six years, I'm tired. I'm not always the mom I should be. Of course, I could have continued on and I would have given it my best. But there's something refreshing to both of us about changing up the roles, taking a different approach, and meeting our parenting with fresh eyes and fresh perspectives. I think this will be so good for all of us.
This morning, Cora was all dressed up in her little ballet outfit, twirling around the living room. She looked up at Micah with those sweet green eyes and said, "Dance with me, Daddy." He picked her up and swung her around and they danced and laughed together. Then he sat down and pulled her into his lap. I watched them sitting there, whispering to each other, giggling, snuggling. Those two have some golden, blissful days in store. How fortunate is any little girl to have her daddy all to herself in these early years? I have to believe this opportunity will shape them both in ways nothing else could have.
Yes, all around, we are celebrating. Our hearts are a little lighter, and we're facing our new roles with excitement and energy. Maybe now that it's official, Micah will finally stop humming "Mr. Mom" to himself, as he has been for weeks. Me and Mr. Mom...
When we decided to move back to Indiana, we talked long and hard about work. Always before, it's taken Micah at least a year and a half to work out a position. We could hold out for something like that, but as things progressed it became clear that we should set our timeline for a move to sometime this summer. It was more than likely that I would find a job before he would. And the next round of discussions began.
Could I go back to work full-time? Would I be OK with letting go of some of the undivided time I'd had to give the kids? I hate to admit this, but would I be able to trust Micah with keeping up with the house, cooking meals, etc? I knew he'd be great with the kids, but it's hard to relinquish control of the areas I'd held the reins for for several years! Would Micah's career suffer if he stayed home for a few years? Would he enjoy it, or would he struggle not having work outside of the home? What would our days look like, what kind of shift would be best for me, how would we make all this work? On and on we talked and wrestled, all the while both interviewing for positions.
Nothing seemed quite right. I hated to miss time with Cora during the day, but I knew there would be time with her around a sleep schedule. The times when I connect most with all three kids are those afternoon hours after school, hearing about their day in bits and pieces, and at night as they drift off to sleep talking about their day and sharing their thoughts. It killed me to think I would miss those times several days a week! It became clearer and clearer that a night shift position would allow me the most time with the kids and the least-intrusive work schedule. But all of the openings I could find were for twelve hour shifts that started at seven o'clock. No matter how I turned things over in my mind, playing out how any number of different shifts or schedules would work, I had to give up something very precious to make it work. I wrestled and wrestled with it until I finally reached a point where I was willing to let go. The kids would not be without a parent, after all. If I was working, Micah would be home. It was time for me to let go and let him step in. I was not in sole control of our family, I had been blessed to have had all these years, and it would be OK. I could work these shifts and still have time with them.
And then, out of the blue, a former co-worker sent me a message. A position had just opened up on night shift in my old unit. It was an eight-hour shift position, and she wasn't sure if I'd be interested. Micah and I looked at each other. This could be it! I had been watching for a position to open up with them, but so far nothing had. And now there was a shift that would allow me to be home all evening, without missing the after-school or bedtime hours, and only have an eight-hour shift to sleep off the next day. I had loved the work I'd done before, loved my co-workers. I have had recurring dreams for five years about going back there, and here was the chance! I applied immediately. I got a phone call less than twenty-four hours later, and now here we are.
I couldn't be more excited to be going back to a field I've been so passionate about. What a blessing! And Micah is thrilled at the idea of staying home. Is it a gamble? Yes, maybe. It's possible this move will hurt his career. But years ago, when I was still in nursing school, we made the decision that one of us would be home with our kids. It was top priority. We knew then that it may not always be me. And it turns out it won't be. He is a fantastic dad. What's more, he brings fresh energy and intentionality to the job of staying home! After six years, I'm tired. I'm not always the mom I should be. Of course, I could have continued on and I would have given it my best. But there's something refreshing to both of us about changing up the roles, taking a different approach, and meeting our parenting with fresh eyes and fresh perspectives. I think this will be so good for all of us.
This morning, Cora was all dressed up in her little ballet outfit, twirling around the living room. She looked up at Micah with those sweet green eyes and said, "Dance with me, Daddy." He picked her up and swung her around and they danced and laughed together. Then he sat down and pulled her into his lap. I watched them sitting there, whispering to each other, giggling, snuggling. Those two have some golden, blissful days in store. How fortunate is any little girl to have her daddy all to herself in these early years? I have to believe this opportunity will shape them both in ways nothing else could have.
Yes, all around, we are celebrating. Our hearts are a little lighter, and we're facing our new roles with excitement and energy. Maybe now that it's official, Micah will finally stop humming "Mr. Mom" to himself, as he has been for weeks. Me and Mr. Mom...
