Emerging

It's hard to describe exactly what's changed, but my days with the kids grow increasingly different.  The boys are more and more grown-up: reading chapter books, pronouncing all the letters they've struggled with, playing elaborate games, and sounding like miniature grown-ups.  But I'm used to most of that.  I think what's making my days seem so different is Cora.  She's a walking, talking toddler--full-fledged toddler.  I'm not sure when the change happened, but I'm pretty sure it was overnight.  Every day I watch as the last traces of baby leave her little face.  I'm amazed--for the third time now--at the transformation that happens at this age.  I can see the wheels turning in her little head, watch things click.  I love the sparkle in her little eyes as she discovers the world, the pride in her face when she accomplishes something new, and the teasing smile she gives me when she says a new word for the first time.  I've loved it with all three kids, but this time it really is different.  She's learning new things and giving this stage a girlie touch.  And underscoring it all is the knowledge that this is it!  I have loved my babies, loved the baby stage.  But life gets so much easier as we graduate from that phase.  With each new accomplishment from her, I realize a new sense of freedom.  The intensity of the last few years, the sleeplessness, total dependence, all of it is slowly, steadily fading into the background.  It's bittersweet, of course.  I'll miss those sweet moments, those chubby little cheeks, the excitement of a brand new baby.  But I love all the more seeing their personalities emerge, seeing glimpses of the people they will become.  We have an entire lifetime ahead of us, and I'm seeing bit by bit how much easier it will be to just enjoy them in the days to come.

So with each new word and accomplishment from them, with each passing day, I think it's safe to say we're emerging.  Not from the dark ages, but from the early days of our life together.  It's a little hard to believe...