Radio Silence
As you may have noticed by my lack of writing, the past couple of weeks have been much fuller than the six that came before them. Being back to work full time has somewhat consumed me, and so I need to apologize for the radio silence.
To be honest, busyness wasn't the only reason for my hiatus. I've been a little at a loss as to how to write about the past couple of weeks, although many of you have faithfully been asking how we're doing. On the one hand, it's been incredible to be back to work. I love my co-workers, and I love the challenges of my role as an educator in the various units. On the other hand, I've never been more aware of my limitations than in the past weeks. I'm continually frustrated that I can't keep up with my old pace. I've had to lean on my co-workers more than ever--I've never been more grateful for them!--as I struggle to keep up. In these first two weeks back, I have yet to be able to work all of the hours I normally would. I've paid pretty dearly for the hours I have worked, often coming home and sleeping two or three hours before spending the evening on the couch. I'm slowly trying to learn to recognize my limits before I push myself past them, but as with everything in this process, we're learning as we go.
But life is not all about work, just as it's not all about this disease, whatever it may be called. In between the working hours and the symptoms, we're finally getting a taste of spring. It's been wonderful. The kids are spending every minute they can outdoors, the sun is streaming through the windows, and I'm seeing more and more of our neighbors. I'm reminded all over again of how much I love this little street where we live. The whole house just feels different in the spring: sunny, warm, like home. If I'm being completely transparent, I needed a little love affair with our home. While I've always loved it, the challenge of managing the stairs and the frustration with it had me ready to move on from this place. Instead, the past few weeks have cemented in my mind how blessed we are to be here, and have made me content to stay for as long as we need to. I've even made a list of small improvements that I can tackle a little at a time to really build in some enjoyment in both this house and this season.
Today I took some time and tackled some of the school work that's taken a back burner recently. I'm required to pursue a Master's degree in my current role, and it's actually been a bucket list item for me for years. The job requirement was the last little push I needed to take on the challenge. It's meant going back and finishing off the remaining bit of my Bachelor's degree first. Last term I made great progress, but it all came to a screeching halt in the midst of everything else at the beginning of this year. It felt good to take some time today to really work hard and make some serious progress on my school work, and I'm hoping to get this next phase of my educational goals knocked out. In a season that's been full of waiting, accomplishing something feels especially rewarding!
Next week we travel back down south for more testing. This doctor will be our third neurologist. I've heard great things about him, and I'm optimistic we're on the right track in terms of chasing down a diagnosis. The testing won't be pleasant, but I'm hoping to make the most of the day out of town with Micah and maybe--just maybe--even come home with an answer or two. Sooner or later we'll put a name to all of this and find new ways to live with it!
To be honest, busyness wasn't the only reason for my hiatus. I've been a little at a loss as to how to write about the past couple of weeks, although many of you have faithfully been asking how we're doing. On the one hand, it's been incredible to be back to work. I love my co-workers, and I love the challenges of my role as an educator in the various units. On the other hand, I've never been more aware of my limitations than in the past weeks. I'm continually frustrated that I can't keep up with my old pace. I've had to lean on my co-workers more than ever--I've never been more grateful for them!--as I struggle to keep up. In these first two weeks back, I have yet to be able to work all of the hours I normally would. I've paid pretty dearly for the hours I have worked, often coming home and sleeping two or three hours before spending the evening on the couch. I'm slowly trying to learn to recognize my limits before I push myself past them, but as with everything in this process, we're learning as we go.
But life is not all about work, just as it's not all about this disease, whatever it may be called. In between the working hours and the symptoms, we're finally getting a taste of spring. It's been wonderful. The kids are spending every minute they can outdoors, the sun is streaming through the windows, and I'm seeing more and more of our neighbors. I'm reminded all over again of how much I love this little street where we live. The whole house just feels different in the spring: sunny, warm, like home. If I'm being completely transparent, I needed a little love affair with our home. While I've always loved it, the challenge of managing the stairs and the frustration with it had me ready to move on from this place. Instead, the past few weeks have cemented in my mind how blessed we are to be here, and have made me content to stay for as long as we need to. I've even made a list of small improvements that I can tackle a little at a time to really build in some enjoyment in both this house and this season.
Today I took some time and tackled some of the school work that's taken a back burner recently. I'm required to pursue a Master's degree in my current role, and it's actually been a bucket list item for me for years. The job requirement was the last little push I needed to take on the challenge. It's meant going back and finishing off the remaining bit of my Bachelor's degree first. Last term I made great progress, but it all came to a screeching halt in the midst of everything else at the beginning of this year. It felt good to take some time today to really work hard and make some serious progress on my school work, and I'm hoping to get this next phase of my educational goals knocked out. In a season that's been full of waiting, accomplishing something feels especially rewarding!
Next week we travel back down south for more testing. This doctor will be our third neurologist. I've heard great things about him, and I'm optimistic we're on the right track in terms of chasing down a diagnosis. The testing won't be pleasant, but I'm hoping to make the most of the day out of town with Micah and maybe--just maybe--even come home with an answer or two. Sooner or later we'll put a name to all of this and find new ways to live with it!
