Who Goes Before
Some days the darkness and the danger close in on us. The news this week in our area has been full of child abductions, murders, abuse. A little boy in our community was hit by a car. Several families are facing serious health concerns with their small children. There are rumors of war, memories of attacks. Everywhere, everywhere, it feels like today, our children are threatened. I dropped two of mine off at school today and walked away. In itself, that's an act of faith. Cora and I went on to the store. My eyes were everywhere. Nothing felt safe. Some days it's just too tempting to give in to fear, to think every interaction, germ, news headline poses a threat to my precious children.
On the way home, a song came on the radio. Micah had happened to flip to a Christian radio station on our way to work this morning. We don't listen to it often because we don't get great reception. But as I turned the car on today, I heard the words, "I know who goes before me. I know who comes behind. The God of angel armies is always by my side. The God who reigns forever, he is a friend of mine. The God of angel armies is always by my side."
And I remembered. I remembered that these precious children were never mine. I have placed them on the altar every day of their lives, knowing that the God who created them loves them more deeply than I could ever hope to. Knowing that he is powerful on their behalf. Knowing that his armies of angels surround them, carry them, sustain them. Knowing that his story for them is between him and them. Knowing that even if my worst nightmares for them came true, they would not be alone. Knowing that when it's all said and done and this life on earth is over for them (because it will be, one day), the same God who has stooped to comfort and protect them will carry them safely home. What can I do compared to that?
Oh, how my heart hurts to let them stretch their wings and experience more freedom when all the world seems to be closing in around them. Oh, how I want to pull them close, lock the doors, and keep the world out. The dangers are real. They're close. Someday tragedy may well knock on our own door. I will do my best to protect and prepare them. But ultimately, I can't be there. I won't be there. But someone will. I can only pray that they will know--really know-- who goes before and comes behind. Who hems them in and carries them. I can only pray that I myself will know. Our God is fierce and faithful, and ever ready to save his children.
On the way home, a song came on the radio. Micah had happened to flip to a Christian radio station on our way to work this morning. We don't listen to it often because we don't get great reception. But as I turned the car on today, I heard the words, "I know who goes before me. I know who comes behind. The God of angel armies is always by my side. The God who reigns forever, he is a friend of mine. The God of angel armies is always by my side."
And I remembered. I remembered that these precious children were never mine. I have placed them on the altar every day of their lives, knowing that the God who created them loves them more deeply than I could ever hope to. Knowing that he is powerful on their behalf. Knowing that his armies of angels surround them, carry them, sustain them. Knowing that his story for them is between him and them. Knowing that even if my worst nightmares for them came true, they would not be alone. Knowing that when it's all said and done and this life on earth is over for them (because it will be, one day), the same God who has stooped to comfort and protect them will carry them safely home. What can I do compared to that?
Oh, how my heart hurts to let them stretch their wings and experience more freedom when all the world seems to be closing in around them. Oh, how I want to pull them close, lock the doors, and keep the world out. The dangers are real. They're close. Someday tragedy may well knock on our own door. I will do my best to protect and prepare them. But ultimately, I can't be there. I won't be there. But someone will. I can only pray that they will know--really know-- who goes before and comes behind. Who hems them in and carries them. I can only pray that I myself will know. Our God is fierce and faithful, and ever ready to save his children.
