Taking Down the Walls
As we gradually near the end of our renovation, I've found myself thinking often about something I posted early on in this process: Never underestimate the power of taking down a wall. It changes everything. I promised to write a book about it someday; this certainly isn't a book, but as many of us contemplate New Year's resolutions, it seems like a fitting time to reflect and expound on the idea.
The main level of our home, built in 1941, consisted of a living room, small dining room, and small kitchen. One of the first steps in our renovation included removing the wall between the kitchen and dining room to make one large room. I'd laid awake at night daydreaming about how the space would look, envisioning myself hosting friends and family in there as I prepared meals to share with them. But I didn't think to daydream about how the space would feel. I couldn't believe the difference the first time I walked in. We suddenly had a perfect view from the front of the house clear out into the backyard. Light absolutely flooded the space. Even amid all the construction debris and unfinished walls, the space was beautiful. It felt like a breath of fresh air.
I was so overwhelmed by the feeling that, as I often do, I began to internalize it. If it felt this great to take down physical walls, how could this kind of feeling apply to the rest of life?
As I sat with it, I began to think there are some parallels to life: relationships, activities, commitments. They can all become walls in our lives, tiny segmented places that become cut off and keep us from experiencing things as a whole. Sometimes taking down the wall--opening up to a new experience, welcoming someone who's different from us, embracing a change--transforms us. It gives us a whole new perspective, a new view. It floods our life with light. It makes us more beautiful.
And yet, our new room still had walls. While the space was far more open, the boundaries of the room were still defined by walls. I began to think about these, too. I wondered how the space would look if the whole main level of our home were wide open. It would certainly be bright and free-flowing, but not having any walls would lessen the impact of the individual spaces. It would make it difficult to determine where the living room ended and the dining room began. Simply stated, walls defined the rooms. They gave them their identity.
The same could be said in our lives. Without walls, without boundaries, we open ourselves to everything that comes our way. We become overburdened, overworked. In time, we begin to lose a sense of our identity and what's most important to us. Walls--boundaries--protect who we are in our inner rooms and help to define who we are.
The truth is, in houses and in life, what matters is taking down the right walls, all the while keeping boundaries that are healthy. What matters is taking stock of the places where we most need to expand our horizons, and those where we need to pull back and shore up our margins.
So, as 2019 rolls in, here's to all my friends and family as you assess the walls in your life. May you have the wisdom to know which ones should stand and which should come crashing down. And whatever you decide, may you find the changes flood your life with new views, new light, and beauty.
